


Unacceptable

by fishfingersandjellybabies



Series: Unforgiven [7]
Category: Batman (Comics)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-07
Updated: 2017-01-07
Packaged: 2018-09-15 13:18:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9236810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fishfingersandjellybabies/pseuds/fishfingersandjellybabies
Summary: It was funny, in the sad way, that Tim needed reminded that Damian wasn’t the only one being hurt.





	

**Author's Note:**

> A few days after Unwelcome. Not implying the girls weren’t also hurt by what Dick and Bruce did, but they were much more open with their emotions/each other/Barbara and their friends. Whereas Tim shut down and put all his energy into caring for and protecting Damian. Tim was a little ball of stress since Dick left their flat, and the girls called him up for a day out for this very reason, basically.

Tim leaned his head back, staring up at the clouds. “…Have I mentioned I hate this?”

Cass and Steph both laughed, and it made him feel better. Just a little.

“The situation as a whole,” Steph asked slowly, leaning into Tim’s side and squeezing his arm. “Or the little munchkin hitching a ride on your back?”

Tim glanced back. Damian’s arms were still loose around his neck, cheek pillowed against the curve of his shoulder as he slept their afternoon outing away. Damian didn’t want to come, not really. But where Tim went, Damian went. That was the child’s rule nowadays, and Tim didn’t have the heart to push him off that protective path.

(Besides, he felt the same towards his little brother. Especially now. Especially after recent days, where when alone, Damian sought the ones who hurt him most, and Tim would not have that again.)

But despite it all, Damian was still just a kid. And after an afternoon of walking, shopping and eating, he was exhausted. Not to mention the evening crowds were becoming unusually heavy, and it was making Tim nervous.

(Damian wasn’t the only one with a protective streak for his brother after all.)

And it was a testament to how far the two of them had come, everyone would say, that when Tim tugged on Damian’s arm and swung him up onto his back, Damian didn’t complain. Damian didn’t fight or throw barbs. Just wrapped his arms around Tim’s neck, and hooked his chin over his brother’s shoulder.

The only thing the kid did was maybe take a bit too _much_ glee in poking Tim in the face, or tugging gently at his hair when he wanted attention, or to interject.

It wasn’t long after that though, that Damian fell gently to sleep, lulled to rest just by listening to his elders chat about menial and unimportant things. And they all felt the same about that – felt grateful and relieved, that Damian trusted them enough to let his guard down this much to do such a childish act.

Tim smiled, and repositioned his arms under Damian’s legs as he glanced knowingly back at Steph. “The former, obviously.”

Cass leaned into his other side, mimicking Steph’s hold on his elbow. “Talk it out.”

Tim inhaled, and exhaled sharply. Paused to make sure the movement didn’t stir Damian, and pursed his lips.

“I hate this,” He repeated. “I hate this I think, because I don’t know what to _do_.”

The girls waited.

“Bruce says it’s not Dick’s fault, that it’s all his.” Tim mumbled. “But I’m still…doggone furious at _both_ of them regardless. And as much as I try to protect Damian from this whole mess, he’s caught in the middle, because despite everything, he’s much more forgiving than I am, and he _wants_ to see Dick, and probably his father, but doesn’t want to upset or alienate me in the process.”

“So…” Steph drawled. “The biggest problem is…”

Tim dropped his head back again, stared up at the clouds. “…I just don’t want them to hurt him again.”

“Oh?”

“At least…” Another exhale. “As morbid as it is, at least when my parents died, they _stayed_ dead. But Bruce died, and came back. Talia died, and came back, Dick, his pseudo-dad, _lied_ about dying, and came back. Then Bruce went off and died and came back again.” Cass could tell Tim was getting mad once more, and squeezed his arm comfortingly. “I just…I’m sick of them treating him like this. Acting like it’s fine. Apologizing, and running off and doing it again anyway, like the sorry makes it all better.”

“…They’re doing this to you, too.” Cass reminded.

Tim grinned at her, and it was bitter. “Yeah, but I’m not ten years old.”

“But you’re still their son and their brother.” Steph pushed. “And, I think Damian would agree with us and say, that he’s not the more important one here.”

“Neither am I.” Tim countered.

“No, I mean…” Steph huffed. “You’re both _equally_ important. You’ve both been _equally_ hurt. You can’t do all these things with only Damian in mind, and ignore the toll it’s taking on _you_.”

“Why not? I have before.” Tim smiled bitterly again, but neither girl returned it. After a moment, he sighed. “I’ve just been…ignoring it seems to be the best option right now.”

“It’s the best option until it’s not.” Steph hummed. “And now, it’s not.”

“So what do I do?” Tim asked. “Because if I meet with them, if I meet with _Dick_ , you know as well as I do that I’ll probably forgive him on the spot. And I can convince myself to forgive him for Damian’s sake, but I have a feeling that that’s not going to be good enough for you.”

“Good.” Cass returned. “Because it is not.”

“Maybe…okay, how about this.” Steph tried. “Take Damian out of the equation. Pretend, for five seconds, he doesn’t exist. He wasn’t the one hurt and betrayed and left behind, okay? Pretend it was just you, that Dick and B did this to, and think about what _you_ would want if that was the case.”

“I’d still want to ignore it. Ignore _them_.” Tim decided.

“And after that?” Steph asked. “Because there’s no way you’d want to ignore them forever. You can’t ignore _anything_ forever. I know you, you let things eat away at you.”

“I’m doing a fine job right now.”

“You’re doing a fine job of ignoring them because you’re distracting yourself with your brother. And I told you, in this scenario he doesn’t exist.” Steph repeated. “So. What do you want?”

“I’d…” Tim sighed. “I don’t know, I guess I’d want to know why. Why they did this, why they thought it was okay. I’d want to scream in their faces, and maybe punch them.”

“…It can be arranged.” Cassandra offered.

Tim laughed, but continued. “I’d…I don’t know, want them to pay? Like…not give them what they want, at all. They’d want to talk? I’d avoid them. They want a hug, or affection? I keep my distance.”

“…Punish them?” Cassandra asked.

“…Yeah, I think so.” Tim hummed. “Just. Be the biggest jerk in the world, for a while.”

“Just a while?” Steph questioned. “Not forever?”

“…Of course not.” Tim sighed. “…Maybe it’s time I listen to what they have to say, huh?”

“You _did_ say you never wanted to see them again.” Steph reminded. “And you were debating leaving Gotham.”

“Not seriously.” Tim admitted. “Look, why can’t I just worry about Damian? It’s much simpler when I do that. It’s easier to make decisions.”

“Because _you_ are important too.” Cassandra murmured, squeezing Tim’s arm.

“And besides, it’s clearly not, because he called Dick behind your back.” Steph countered. “And that’s what started this whole thing.”

“…Yeah.” Tim exhaled, focusing on the weight against his spine. On the little boy who had been hurt far too many times, and on the one Tim _refused_ to let be hurt again. “Though, I guess if I were in his position, I’d have done the same.”

“What, you’d have not told your guardian you were going to go find the one person you were both avoiding?” Steph drawled. “Could have fooled me.”

“…So what do I do?” Tim asked, looking at Cass instead. “I mean…do I talk to him about it? About what he _wants_? Because we didn’t talk after Dick left the other night. And the morning after we both just acted like it didn’t happen. Or, do I just make decisions on my own, based on what I think he _needs_?”

Cass smiled. “You decide based on what you need, too.”

“I need Damian safe and stable. And _maybe_ happy.” Tim grinned back. “How’s that?”

“Terrible.” Steph sighed. “Come on, Tim, don’t be difficult.”

“Sorry, sorry, I…I know you mean well, guys, I just.” Tim exhaled, shifted Damian again. “…I just…I don’t know. What to do, or what I want.”

“…And that’s fair.” Steph conceded. “But just. Do what you always do. Like Cass said, think it through.”

“Out loud, if it…helps.” Cass reminded.

“…I just want Damian safe.” Tim said definitively. “And _I_ want to be…happy. Stable.” A pause to sigh. “I want my brother and my dad.”

“Mhm.” Steph prompted. “But?”

“But…they fucked up.” Tim murmured. “They _lied_ , and I’m furious about it. And I…don’t want to forgive them. Not even for Damian, just for myself, I…don’t want to forgive them. …Yet.”

“But?” Steph hummed again.

“ _But_ …I know if I meet up with them. If we actually speak face to face, I’ll let everything go.” Tim admitted. “I’ll forget every shitty thing they ever did, and let them get away with hurting me again. With hurting _Damian_ again.”

“Well we definitely can’t have that.” Steph agreed.

“And then…Damian will want to come. If I’m meeting with one of them, he’ll want to come too. Not to see them, but to protect _me_ , because he’s…he’s a better fucking kid than any of us ever gave him credit for.” Tim sighed. “And they’ll…manipulate him. They won’t mean to, they might even try _not_ to, but. They will. They’ll manipulate him into bottling up all of his emotions again, and into him coming home, and never speaking of this again. And Bruce and Dick will have the _gall_ to think that, just because he isn’t talking about it, everything is a-okay again, and it _won’t_ be. Damian will know it won’t be, I’ll know it won’t be. Hell, _Jason_ will probably know it won’t be, but none of us will say a goddamn word about it because it’s Bruce and Dick.”

Pause.

“…And we missed them too much to let on how much we all still hate this.” Tim finished sadly. “How much they fucked us up.” Another stop. “And right now, it’s just…it’s easier to scream in their faces to go away than actually sit down and try talk about it.”

“What, you really think they don’t know any of that?” Steph scoffed. “I mean, okay, Bruce is dense. But not _that_ dense. And Dick isn’t that dense at all.”

“Then why did he think staying away from Damian after he was resurrected was okay?” Tim countered. “He knows how much Damian…downright _adores_ him. He _knows_ how much that would kill this kid all over again, believing he was dead. And he comes back and acts like he didn’t? What the hell?”

“…Slow.” Cass suggested quietly.

“I agree.” Steph nodded. “Take it slow, then. Maybe…maybe meet up with Dick when Damian’s at school. Then do it again. And a few more times after that. When you finally get to the point that you don’t feel like you’ll punch him on site, start bringing Damian along. Supervised visits, to see how Dick handles it. To see how _Damian_ handles it.”

“Then over again.” Cass added. “With Bruce.”

“Yeah, definitely.” Steph hummed. “Dick first, then Bruce. Not together.”

“God, that’s just…” Tim sighed, looked back at Damian. “That’s a whole other can of worms.”

“…I noticed.” Cass quipped. “Damian called Dick. Not Bruce.”

“You and me both, sister.” Tim pursed his lips. “That’s…that’s going to be…Well. If we’re going to do this, we definitely need to start with Dick, and Dick _only_.”

“But. Tell.” Cass pushed. “Tell Damian. When. Where.”

“Keep him in the loop. Do what he didn’t.” Steph nodded. “…We’ll help. Cass and me. We’ll help you and squirt through this.”

“I know you will.” Tim smiled, leaning his head on Steph’s shoulder. “You gals are the best like that.”

“Flattery gets you nowhere, Mr. Drake. I thought I taught you that already.” Steph grinned, though, shoving an elbow into Tim’s side. Tim laughed, genuine, and it was music to the girls’ ears. “Do you…want to call him now? Or think about your schedule, or when you’d want to meet up?”

“Or talk to Damian?” Cass added.

Tim hummed, slowing his steps until he was stopped completely, in the middle of the path, in the middle of the park. Baby brother asleep on his back, the sounds of the city all around him.

“…No. Now.” Tim decided. Suddenly sounding nervous. “I need to do it now. Because if I don’t, if I wait to talk to Damian about it, I’ll change my mind. I’ll get mad all over again and I’ll change my mind, and maybe instead decide that that ‘never speaking to them forever’ thing was a more legit option.”

Without warning Tim was shifting to the side, letting Damian’s arm slide off his shoulder. Cass was immediately there, taking the sleeping boy from his arms, shifting him onto her back instead. Damian didn’t wake.

In the same movement of releasing Damian, Tim pulled his phone from his pocket, taking a deep inhale as he stared at it.

After a moment, Steph put her hand on Tim’s shoulder and squeezed.

“We’re here for you, Tim.” She promised. Cass nodded. “You can do this.”

Tim swallowed the lump in his throat, quickly hitting the speed dial he still had for Dick, before he could back out.

He found himself holding his breath, even as he held the phone to his ear. The phone rang. Once, twice, three times. He glanced over at Cassandra. At Damian specifically, who was still asleep and innocent and none the wiser.

If Dick didn’t answer, he didn’t know if he’d be strong enough to call again.

But suddenly the ringing stopped, and heard a fumbling on the other side. He still didn’t dare breathe.

“Hello?” Dick was there instantly, loud and nervous himself. And of course, he’d see that it was Tim calling. “Tim? Buddy? You okay? Everything okay?”

“…Yeah. Yeah, everything’s fine.” Tim murmured in an exhale, keeping his eyes on Damian, even as he felt Steph running her hand down his spine in comfort. “Yeah I was just calling to…to see if you…uh…”

He trailed off, and there was dead air for a second.

“You can do this.” Steph whispered. “Think about what’s best for _you_ , right now.”

“…Tim?” Dick asked carefully.

“…Do you have any time later this week that we can meet for coffee?” Tim asked quietly. Dick didn’t say anything right away, but Tim knew he was probably surprised, had probably gone rigid.

But Tim kept his gaze on Damian. Kept his thoughts on why he was doing this, who he was doing this for. The most important person – to him – in this whole equation, despite Stephanie and Cassandra’s urging otherwise.

“…I think it’s time you and I talked.”


End file.
